Waiting for.....Godot?

Waiting. We've all done it. Exam results. Dental receptions. Doctor's surgeries. The new Harry Potter. There are different sorts of waiting - excited, apprehensive, bored. Well, I'm doing the bloody terrified sort at the moment. Test results. Future treatment plans. Like I said - bloody terrified. The sort of waiting where you pick up a book to distract you and have to read each sentence about three times before it sinks in. The sort of waiting where you look at the clock every two hours only to realise that just five minutes have passed.
I've tried thrillers, page turners, bodice rippers, and I'm still waiting. And still the terror lurks. Please tell me the most gripping book there is (and preferably the longest most gripping book there is) and I will try it. I will try anything. (Well, maybe not quite anything. A librarian does have standards, you know.)
People seem to pass time in libraries, but that is not really an option for me - my fingers would start to itch, and I would have to tidy something.
So.

I'm waiting.