Monday, September 28, 2009

Borrow a book "wherever you are"

So, how long was it before someone came into your local library this morning, produced a library card from a different local authority and attempted to borrow books on it because "they said on the telly you could do it"? My first one happened at 10.21. Patiently, I explained that all I could do was accept their library card as ID and issue them with one of our own library cards. No problem, of course, but my borrower did seem a tad disappointed that we didn't have an all singing, all dancing "One card fits all" system. The idea of making libraries accessible to all is fine, upstanding and laudable but I do wish the Society of Chief Librarians would take a bit more care when putting out press releases and not create the impression that we are offering one kind of service when it's really another. Perhaps the spin doctors just got carried away. We're all politicians now ...

Saturday, September 26, 2009

D-Day!

It was the day that was supposed to change the world of publishing, the world of books forever! D-Day! Dan day, that is. Dan Brown. And so, a couple of weeks on, how was it for you, dear reader? Did you have borrowers breaking down your doors to download "The Lost Symbol"? Were they rushing in to plug in their new Sony Readers, while your book stock sat wilting on the shelves? No, me neither. We have (at last count) sixty reservations. And rather fewer copies. So people will either have to wait patiently or go and buy it along with their groceries at Waitasmorritescobury's.
We have yet to get rid of all our cassette audiobooks - a new MP3 collection has been treated with suspicion in some quarters, enthusiasm in others. So what, fellow librarians, are we for? Do we slavishly follow the New Book World, as per the Bookseller and the literary chit-chat columns, or do we do what we do best - look over our spectacles (metaphorical or otherwise) and do a bit of cross-referencing before we decide that it is all over for the book. I won't light my bonfire just yet!

Monday, September 21, 2009

Acronym?

As you know, modern life is full of strange abbreviations, and it takes us all a while to get used to them. I'm still trying to work out what that young man from the photocopying company means when he puts LOL after his messages about our broken down machine. And I still have to bite back the urge to slap people when they they say PIN number - "IT STANDS FOR..." Ooh deep breath anyway.

A lady came in today with her elderly MIL (Mother-in-Law) and asked if we did videos anymore. Rather proud for once I said that we did not and now that the world has moved to MP4 and HD, libraries were still using those silver shiny things that will also no doubt soon be obsolete, but we had at least got rid of videos. Except fishing ones. Fishermen still have videos. I find this rather comforting. Anyway a few minutes later said MIL came to counter.

"My VD's not working yet love", she said "but it should be up and running soon, so I've come out to get something for it." Call me old-fashioned, and many people have, but the first thing that leaps to mind when someone says VD, is, well, VD. Was there perhaps a new virus going about that was set to a timer, and this poor lady was desperately seeking a cure before it started to work? And why come to the library? The nearest I could get to a cure for syphilis was a mercury thermometer.

"Will this work?" she said, and put a DVD case on the counter. "Er, yes" I said, with relief.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Proud and Prejudiced.....

Ah, Jane. The divine Jane, dear aunt Jane. Ms Austen. It is a truth universally acknowledged that no other writer has inspired such idolatrous enthusiasm. Her appeal knows no bounds, cuts across all demographics, takes all sorts. Woe betides the hardy soul who dares to tangle with the Janeites - those redoubtable Trekkies of English Literature (perhaps somewhere there is a picturesque corner of a field where they gather to be inculcated into the cult en masse. Hampshire, probably). But where should the self respecting librarian shelve the books? Following months (weeks, days, minutes) of earnest discussion Dorothea suggests the following possibilities:

1) CLASSICS - Jane is class, her novels are classics. They must be becuase the characters all wear bonnets. And wet shirts. Well, they do on the BBC.

2) CHICK LIT - Jane rebranded. Edgy Jane, "contemporary" Jane, post-modern Jane. Chuck her in amongst the pink and glitter - the 30something -singleton Sex and the City renegades will gobble her up.

3) ROMANTIC FICTION - Stick 'em next to the Mills and Boon. It's basically the same thing. Not universally acknowledged but true all the same.

4) THE MARK TWAIN SOLUTION - "Any library is a good library that does not contain a volume by Jane Austen. Even if it contains no other book."

The choice is yours . . . . .

Monday, September 7, 2009

Dorothea has been in touch with Simon for the latest on the Ilkley Literature Festival and his forthcoming performance of "Shhh!" an epic drama in one act which is inspired by life in our public libraries.


Simon: "Last week we had to go to a planning meeting at Ilkley. We got to see the stage and space we will be using and to meet other performers at the Fringe festival. As I looked at the darkened theatre I seemed to hear a voice saying "This is real, this is happening, you'll be on that stage in 5 weeks!" Gulp.


We've been trying to start a bit of a publicity drive and visited Ilkley library, asking if we could leave a poster. "It's about libraries," I said. "About what it's really like to work in them." The staff were very friendly and welcoming. A lady smiled and said, "At last!" and a chap behind the counter said, "Will it have all the sex, drugs and rock and roll?" I answered in the affirmative. A lovely library and lovely staff - hope some of them can make it to the show.

On Sunday we popped into Leeds Central Library and asked if we could leave a poster. "It's about libraries - we're exposing the truth!" I said with a wry smile. The librarian frowned and shook her head with a weary sigh. "Oh no you're not," she said, and the years of experience on the front line seemed etched across her face. "Oh yes we are," we said, "We work in libraries too."
"Do you really? Do you really have to put up with the same things as us? Really?" she said. And a light seemed to go on in her eyes - a bright, shining light that said SOMEONE ELSE KNOWS. SOMEONE ELSE UNDERSTANDS.

So librarians of the world (or at least of West Yorkshire)- come and see "Shhh!" at Ilkley on October 15th. Becuase someone else knows. Someone else feels your pain.

Friday, September 4, 2009

It's for yoo-hoo!

What do you do with mobile phone users once they enter the hallowed portals? I have noticed four general tactics when I have visited libraries:
1) the patented Dorothea stare - this usually works, but takes years of practice to hone. I can nail a mosquito at 30 yards.
2) uncomfortable shuffling and surreptious looks followed by member of staff sidling over and asking in an embarrassed sort of way if they would mind, you know, er, turning it off, it is, you know, a library, right?
3) the stroppiest member of staff being sent over to tell them in no uncertain terms to switch it off before it gets flushed down the toilet.
4) studiously ignoring them in the hope that they will see sense and retreat - this never works.

Or do you have a tolerance zone, a chill out area, where people can bleep and chirrup and tweet in freedom? I bet you can guess what Dorothea thinks of that.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Dorothea has been having a chat with Simon, our intrepid librarian who is busily preparing for his appearance at the Ilkley Literature Festival and the world premiere of "Shhhh!" his one man show inspired by the world of libraries. So Simon, how is it going?

Simon: "Well, the rough draft of the script is finished and intensive rehearsals start in earnest this week. The Ilkley programme is officially out and Melvyn Bragg is in town on the same night as me! I'd invite him along to the show if I could figure out a way to contact him - anyone out there know him? I'm sure he's a chap with a passion for libraries. Melvyn, if you're out there, please come along!"

As for Simon's hopes and fears for "Shhhh!" the stage show:

Simon: "It was famously said that Beckett's 'Waiting for Godot' is a play in which nothing happens twice. I want "Shhhh!" to take theatre beyond Beckett; I want to break down barriers, shift paradigms, alter the demographic and generally kick ass. Yes, "Shhhh!" is a play in which nothing happens six times.
Just like a typical day at the library really. But remember - there's no place quite like a library when nothing happens ......"