shhhh!

*see bottom

2010-06-01T14:47:00.002+01:00

It's a rainy day, so what better to do than tackle my pile of ephemera for indexing. I don't know about you other libraries out there, but even in these times of internet, cloud storage, and electronic wizardry, we still have a card index, and it still gets used. It seems to be an anachronism amongst all the computer hardware we have, but we rather cherish it. Recently we had to clear it out, and amongst some of the cards removed were references to a home for unmarried mothers, complete with telephone number of local vicar. Also, a cross reference to pictures of rabbit warrens, for no discernable reason. Also, the meaning of the surname Sotherton. Also, the address of the Race Relations board. I fondly imagine a post-internet world where the true value of these cards will once again be felt.
They are also a record of librarians gone by - some cards quite wordy, and carefully cross-referenced, others terse and brief to the point of enigmatic (Smith - see Wetherby). They are always done with an eye to posterity - what will researchers of the future want to read about?
The powers-that-be were looking to rearrange the library recently, and were eyeing the card index as taking up too much space, but we hung onto it for now, so until some kind person has the time and the inclination to digitize all the cards (any takers?) then it will remain as a useful but slightly outmoded tool in the librarians' armoury.

*the title of this post is "Indexing" - see above for details.

Would you like a book with that?

2010-05-17T13:20:00.002+01:00

I was pleased to read that library lending figures have gone up ever so slightly over the last year - if you had asked for my prediction, I would have said that they had gone down, so I am glad (for once) to be wrong. It is however only a tiny increase, so we need to make sure that we are pushing our product, adding value, as they say in the shops, it is a dog eat dog world out there...ok but you get my drift. It used to be very clear what libraries did, and what you could get here. Not so these days - someone came in just the other day and asked where the library was. He seemed surprised to be told he was standing in it. I don't know what he had in mind, but we weren't it (perhaps it's the lack of mahogany shelves and leather chairs). I am all for getting people through the doors by whatever means, and although I profess to be a little dubious about Wii sessions or nail painting, I will try anything once - but we need to make sure that some of the people who have no intention of borrowing a book when they come in, find themselves leaving as proud card carrying library members with a book on manicures to complement the nail art session they just attended.
I am wary of turning us into another high street menace - I really don't want half price chocolate (well actually I do, but that's beside the point) and I don't want people who come to the counter, possibly for the first time in many years, to run howling from the building after being forced to borrow the latest literary bestseller, when all they came in for was a disabled parking badge.
But there is stuff we can do - make it look good: get those shiny paperbacks out front, be enthusiastic, if you have read something good shout about it. Engage!
Now troops, back to your posts, and lend some books!
Any good tips please let me know.

Reading literature in the library

2010-05-10T14:14:00.003+01:00

I was looking at some new titles recently on a certain well known book website, and was fascinated by the plethora of titles such as "Reading Lolita in Tehran" and "Talking about Jane Austen in Baghdad" to name but two. Many missionary book lovers seem to be eager to fly to various war zones or similarly troubled areas with nothing but "Sense and Sensibility" and a smattering of the local lingo to see them through. And good for them - the more people who read the better, and good literature should reach across all boundaries.
I can't help but wonder, however, if we are neglecting our own readers at home as we evangelise our literature abroad. As an experiment I looked through our classics section - we have two copies of "Pride and Prejudice" neither of which has been out for six months. "Middlemarch" hasn't been out for over a year. The only Thomas Hardy to be issued recently was the one on the telly. Same goes for Dickens. Some of the older staff here reminisce fondly about a full set of Proust that is now hidden away in a stack somewhere. Our Forsters are tatty and our Brontes are battered. It seems a shame that just as readers in Afghanistan embrace our Emily, we are forgetting about her altogether.
I also despair when students come in for either the new-fangled graphic versions of various classics and set texts, or failing that the York notes. The graphic ones have about a quarter of the text, and are beefed up with gangland style pictures of hard looking youths and mean looking grown ups with a sexy Juliet and a languishing Romeo, in the case of Shakespeare. York notes have their place - I was a student after all, but students these days seem to order them instead of the text itself.
So next time your literary feet start to itch, how about Brontes in Birmingham, Proust in Pontefract, or Austen in Ambleside. You don't need to cross oceans to promote good writing.

Shld we worry about txt spk?

2010-05-04T14:27:00.002+01:00

OK, so, I'm an old-fashioned girl. I learned parrot fashion at school. I did my times tables, and learned to spell the proper way, and I still try to do so. I have embraced my mobile phone, but I still message in proper sentences. I send emails, yes, but I write them just as I would a letter. I have yet to employ btw, or lol, or cul8r. It is just...wrong. But, I am old, and I accept that the younger generation need to find new methods for the new technologies they grow up with. I speak from a library that now has a "chill" area (no, not a fridge) and a "teenscape" (no, me neither). If it gets people through the door, then fine.
I did despair this week, however, when we received our leaflets from headquarters for our events for Adult Learners' Week. We apparently now offer "careers advise." Apostrophes are scattered seemingly at random. Events include nail art and Nintendo Wii. I'm all for doing whatever we can to get people using our services, but offering to paint nails or play games twice a year is not the way to do it, surely. And should we not be the last bastion of plain, correctly spelled English? By all means play fast and loose with the language on the move or at play, but does there not have to be a benchmark, a standard, a universality?
Tsk and tut, say the critics, surely understanding is what matters - my leaflet, after all, is not going to cause major confusion, and advisers will offer advice, however it is spelled, but I still can't help thinking that we are libraries, and language and communication is at the heart of what we do. Should we not, at least, try to do it properly?
Please tell me I am not a lone voice on this.

Eaten by the Easter bunny?

2010-04-26T13:49:00.000+01:00

Holiday time, and all the people who never ever come in at any other time of the year suddenly appear, wanting to a)rejoin themselves, their children, and grandma too; b)have free stuff, be it colouring sheets, an hour on the computer, childcare, or pipe cleaners; c)register for activities - anything, but anything, to get rid of the kids for an hour. We were booked solid for over a fortnight by our more regular families who come to every event going, so we have to turn them away. Where are they all for the rest of the year, I ask myself?
And why does everyone else also appear in the hols too? We have a strange post Christmas slump, then suddenly, as if awakening from a long hibernation, people come in to find things out, harrass the MP or the councillor, and look up that person that Great Aunt Elsie said was a long lost cousin.
And now they have gone again. I would like to think that they are out lobbying their MP about the library, or at home feverishly reading all the books they borrowed last time they were in. And it is exam time, and I've a new rack of up to date revision guides, but no, they are not here. Just got Avatar on DVD. Any takers? Ok, the sun has shone for the last few days, and it is kind of hot and stuffy in here (air-con man if you are reading, come on over!) but surely someone wants a travel guide, music to play at that barbie, information on volcanos.
No? I can only conclude they have all been eaten by the Easter bunny.
Are you quiet too?

Beg, steal, borrow, buy?

2010-04-19T10:03:00.002+01:00

I've been looking at the lending and buying figures for the last decade, published by the Public Lending Right people, and some very interesting things emerge. First and foremost I was pleasantly surprised to learn that more books were borrowed than bought, despite all the 3 for 2's and loss leaders in the supermarkets. Also, the authors borrowed were very different from the authors bought - JK Rowling sold easily the most books, but was only 96th in the borrowing lists. Yet another children's writer, Jacqueline Wilson, was high up in both charts. What makes a book buyable or borrowable?
The bestlending list is split between "traditional" authors such as Catherine Cookson, and writing for children such as Goosebumps and Mick Inkpen. Does this mean that we get little old ladies and kids and nothing in between?
The lending figures also reveal a population who cheat at cookery (with the help of Delia) write poetry (with the aid of Stephen Fry), holiday in France, and read about war, atheism and cricket. The buying figures, on the other hand, show a liking for Grail quests, vampires, cup cakes, reality TV, and the Caribbean. This would seem to suggest that two completely different sets of people buy and borrow books, but this a clearly not the case - a book lover is a book lover, and will get their fix wherever they can, and indeed will often donate books after they have read them (thank you, thank you, thank you).
So why borrow Delia but buy Jamie?
Why buy Terry Pratchett but borrow James Patterson?
Why borrow war books, but buy Jade Goody?
I have no answers, but will be eyeing my borrowers keenly to see what they have in their shopping bags.

Election escape

2010-04-14T10:48:00.004+01:00

I have been following the election with a certain amount of interest, despite the ringing silence about the future of libraries from most of the main parties (if you have heard anything of any value from any politician please let me know). Yet it does strike me that the library is one of the few places you can go that is an election free zone - yes, we have a poster up telling you about the election, in the window, but it is small, albeit pink, and easily avoided. We have newspapers, and we have the internet if you seek them out, but there will be no-one haranguing you or asking you your voting intentions - a very real hazard in some towns and cities at the moment. Even the councillors, who usually hold surgeries in our library, have departed for a month to hit the campaign trail, so we are truly apolitical.
Unless you count the local blokes who sit in the library setting the world to rights very loudly before heading off to the pub in the afternoon, of course. I did suggest that if we installed a barrel of ale under the counter they would stay all day, thereby improving our visitor numbers, but this idea was not taken up. Beer and a book - it's a winner surely? I'd vote for it anyway. Caffeine addicts can get their fix in many a library these days, so why not cider lovers and ale drinkers too. Maybe I should stand for parliament on a libraries and lager ticket....although of course Dorothea never has anything more than a small sherry....

Rock and roll!

2010-04-07T10:11:00.002+01:00

So, along with Casanova and Chairman Mao, Keith Richards has been outed as....a librarian! I was somewhat amused by the coverage - the public are quite prepared for any sort of sexual or social deviance from Mr Richards, but to find that he yearns for nothing better than stroking the spines of his Dewey-ordered books seemed to shock people to the core. I mean, libraries, not exactly rock and roll, is it?
But delve a little deeper, and you will find all sorts going on - for a start, we still seem to nurture the image of a librarian as at the very least, buttoned up. Now your very own Dorothea may have a starched cardigan and (occasionally) a bun (of the hairy variety)(and the cream variety) but she also has a twinkle in her eye, and a certain tolerance born of a long life experience which may have involved loud music and the odd illicit substance. Librarians are graduates, after all, from the school of life if nothing else, and have done all the stuff that people do at university - they even took their clothes off sometimes!
Also, books are still just not cool, somehow. Not once you get past the Hungry Caterpillar anyway. Kid reading equals boring. Bookish is still a playground insult, and even some parents, pleased though they are that little Joshua has a very good grasp of grammar and English, would rather he got out a bit more. I hope that the outing of Keith Richards can change this once and for all - what better after a night on the town than half an hour of calming prose before retiring to bed? Books fit into any lifestyle, even that of a rock and roll god.
And no, most librarians are not spinsters, nor are they waiting for someone to remove their glasses and show them just how gorgeous they are (although Keith, if you are reading, I could use a holiday if you feel like whisking me off somewhere...). Libraries and books are not a substitute for life - they are life itself! Get down to your local library and live a little! And, librarians, if you should roll into work after a heavy night, and feel like a snooze in the stacks, you are just carrying on a fine tradition of loose living librarians!

Festival time!

2010-03-29T13:40:00.002+01:00

It is, believe it or not, springtime, and throughout the land literary festivals are sprouting up like so many daffodils. There are the biggies, Hay-on-Wye, Cambridge, and the little ones in every town from Dorking to Dorchester. The question is, what should the library do? At best they host as much as they can, sell tickets and be a general guide book to the whole thing. At worst, they are the ugly bridesmaid at Cinderella's wedding - based in a shabby building, not allowed to sell tickets, and giving away shiny brochures for glamorous events a world away from the dingy shelves and thumb worn books on display. And we are not known for selling books (yet) and those lending right fees pale in comparison with the big queue of eager people waiting to pay full whack for the latest hardback after a successful event.
But - when the authors have packed up and gone home, and the publicity posters are out of date, the library is once more the last bastion of literary culture in many towns, so enjoy the glitz and the glamour, smug in the knowledge that when they have all disappeared, you will still be there lending those books out and discussing them with your borrowers.
Don't have a festival? Start one! Surely you have a local author around who likes the sound of his/her own voice, or a town lad made good?
Who have you had in your town recently?

Bookman's holiday

2010-03-22T15:41:00.002Z

So, I admit it. Had five days off and ended up visiting another library while I was on holiday. Just can't resist. It's partly out of sheer curiosity - do they wear a uniform? Is it busy? And partly out of a professional interest. I'm not above pinching ideas either - saw a great noticeboard which I intend to copy. There is also a certain amount of comparison to be done - our shelves are nicer/displays better/staff friendlier/books scruffier/carpet messier than yours.
I also like listening to the people they get in and the queries they deal with - I've been to libraries from Stratford to Scarborough, and although you would think there was a vast difference between the big city library and the tourist town, some things are universal. There is usually someone asking for directions to somewhere. There is generally a tramp or several reading a newspaper. Someone gazing at the photocopier in bewilderment. Ah yes, I think, this is familiar.
The technology is intriguing too - I am increasingly seeing self-service terminals springing up, and internet access in various forms (do they charge or is it free?) and wi-fi and hot spots and audio-posts....
What would you pinch and what would you dump from your library? Envious or proud? Jealous or self-satisfied? Or do you never look?

Blowing the budget!

2010-03-16T15:15:00.002Z

Well despite the doom and gloom about budget cuts, I had a rare treat yesterday when I got to spend the last of the book fund for this year. We tootled off to our favourite warehouse and grabbed our trolleys, and filled them with shiny new paperbacks ready for our borrowers - it is always a double edged pleasure for a librarian - on the one hand lovely new books, and those issue figures climbing higher as we actually have something people want to read. On the other hand, imagining those books in six months time, slightly grubby and curled, with unnamed stains on page 304, and the corners occasionally turned down. A plea from librarians everywhere - use a bookmark!
I've not been on a buy for a while, and it is interesting to see the changing fashions - lots of manga, lots of vampires, not so many classics, no Wodehouse at all. I was armed with a list of borrower requests which we had not fulfilled and gaps to plug - everything from John Sandford to the latest Jasper Fforde, and some oddities too, 1970's crime novels and Barbara Cartland. I couldn't find the latter. Thankfully.
Still, I shall look forward to my next few deliveries, and seeing my newly bought books fly off the shelves as they always do, and this year I will wonder whether the sight is ever to be repeated, and if my purse is to be sewn shut forever.

Burning questions

2010-03-09T15:32:00.002Z

So the blood is still drying on the pre-election broadcast contracts, and somewhere deep in Westminster Gordon Brown is limbering up for those curved-ball questions from whichever heavyweight broadcaster happens to be in the hot seat. I wonder if anyone will ask about libraries?
The announcements of probable cuts to the library service last week raised barely a murmur outside of library land, and in a rather depressing interview for the Guardian, Margaret Hodge trotted out the usual stuff about modernisation, Tescoisation, and Starbucks invasion. And she wants volunteers to staff libraries. Is that because they are cheaper than properly trained staff?
There seem to be a few flagship libraries springing up - Newcastle, and the proposed new Birmingham library, but what of the beleaguered branch libraries? We need a plan and we need one soon. More people visit libraries each week than go to football matches or visit the cinema - I think there would be more of an outcry if we were to shut the gates at all the grounds on a Saturday afternoon.
What would you ask the prospective Prime Minister if you could?

The first cut is the deepest

2010-03-01T13:36:00.002Z

Not a good morning for those library workers/users who happened to tune into the Beeb first thing. CUTS! Libraries and leisure are the first in line for the chop - I half wondered if the padlocks would be out when I got to work, and a closed sign on the door.
Yes, OK, can't cut health, can't cut schools, got to have rubbish collected. But where do people go for information on that tricky health condition (I've been shown a few rashes in my time!), where do kids go to do their homework, who do you complain to when your bin hasn't been collected - the library!
Salami tactics they call it - slice a bit off at a time, and no one will notice. I read of one library service that won't be buying any books this year. At all. Another authority suggest that the public can use self service libraries, and just have volunteers to tidy the place up a bit. Self service! Have you ever had good food from a vending machine? It's just chocolate, pop, cheap sugar thrills. Have you ever got through one of those supermarket auto tills without being scolded electronically or beeped at at least once? If we are not careful we will be left with the library equivalent of zero nutrition, zero humanity.
Run down the service, then no-one will use it, then you have a perfect excuse to close it down.
But, you don't know what you got til it's gone, like the gal said. Let's be sure we don't all wake up one morning and realise that we are in a post library era.

Do It Yourself

2010-02-22T13:11:00.002Z

Now the electioneering has started in earnest, there is much debate about who should run what, and who should pay whom to run what. One of the more interesting ideas was that public services should be run by the staff themselves, with less centralisation, and thus a more local service provision.
My eyes immediately lit up! I always had a sneaking fancy to be my own boss - a librarian running a library no less! I could order my own stock, my own shelves, my own signage. I wouldn't be "branded" (the painful process whereby the council or governing body for which you work dictate what colour you have to look at all day. George Orwell had nothing, nothing, let me tell you, on some council colour schemes I have seen dreamt up for the purposes of subduing staff. Purple and pink walls anybody? Headache?). I could serve the town where I work instead of the council twenty miles away. I could open when I wanted, and remove books of which I disapproved. "Da Vinci Code? No sorry." I could finally tell the smelly bloke in the corner where to go. The possibilities are endless.
On the other hand - the library might end up being run by a collective of local townsfolk who, whilst well meaning, cannot agree on anything, except that it is a Very Good Thing that they are running the library, and won't things be better, just as soon as they vote on what sort of biscuits to have at meetings and who is to be the treasurer.
So it's an interesting idea. All I know is that someone needs to get a grip. And soon.
What would you do if you could?

The cost/value continuum. Or something.

2010-02-15T13:58:00.002Z

Well, in common with many public servants, it is now the turn of us library staff to have a review of our usefulness to society, and the value of of our work. And in common with quantum mechanics, this process is so complex and impenetrable that you need a degree in micro physics to work it out.
The local council has been doing its job evaluation for what seems like months, and finally last week we all received a telephone directory sized letter containing our new salary, plus an explanation of how they decided what we should be paid. Professional skills count for nought, with some of our qualified CILIP registered librarians being downgraded. Random groups of staff seem to have been awarded extra pay for duties they do once a blue moon on a Tuesday, which the rest of us are capable of, but don't do regularly. And how do you compare a library which has just two staff, with a large branch library which has local studies specialists and a children's department running activities all year round? All this against a background of a questioning of library services in general - what are we for, who are we for, and who should pay for it, and how much?
Perhaps we should have an X Factor style council vote - give each council service a month or so to prove its worth, appoint a panel of sneering local dignitaries to pass comment, and then let the public vote where their money goes.
"My name is Dorothea, and tonight I'm going to be a slightly aging but vigorous building that has seen better days, containing all the world's knowledge, several tramps, the phone number you will need if the pavement outside your house needs seeing to, a baby morning, illicit sexual thrills (if you know where to look), several hundred years worth of local information, last months newspapers (though unfortunately some with offer coupons missing), and the award the town got in 2006 for best floral display that the council didn't know what to do with."
OR "My name is Egbert, and tonight I am the Pathfinder Project Coordinator for your town. I do flowcharts, and spreadsheets, and PowerPoint presentations, sometimes with a laser pointer for added effect. Last year I came top for cost savings in the quasi local quango sector...hello? Anybody listening?"
It's a no-brainer, surely?

Odd jobs

2010-02-08T14:49:00.004Z

Well finally finished my chemotherapy, and am making a vague attempt at contemplating a return to library work at some point. Having gone through the treatment, it does make it harder to take the, shall we say, trivial enquiries we get each day. As a way of returning on light duties, I did think I might try to take on some of the odder queries. For instance a lady telephoned the other day and asked when she could make an appointment to have her antiques valued. I did think that instead of explaining kindly that we didn't actually do that sort of thing and it was two years since the Antiques Roadshow had rolled in to town, I would set myself up with a green baize table and a Millers Antiques Guide. Can't be wrestling with tallboys though. Small items only.
I could also tackle some of those accumulated heaps of unidentified stuff that seem to hang around. I know all workplaces have them, but a library seems to attract a very special sort of detritus. For instance mystery account books with a balance in old money that no-one knows where to file. A plaque commemorating a forgotten anniversary, now slightly chipped in one corner. The planning documents for a building that was never actually built. A Heath Robinson style contraption with a slot at one end and a piece of wood at the other, which no-one now remembers the purpose of, but Doreen who used to work here and still comes in on Friday teatime might know something about.
Have you got anything odd in your library?

Guilty secrets

2010-01-29T11:37:00.002Z

Was saddened to hear of the death of JD Salinger - his "Catcher in the Rye" has long been a staple book among young people and students especially. They generally come in on a Friday tea time to borrow the book so they can read it and hand that long overdue essay in on the following Monday morning, and then bring the book back complete with notes in the margins. We also had the odd earnest teenager who would request it and then renew it endlessly, and who always hated giving it up to another student. (I won't mention the one or two who borrow the York notes instead of the text itself. I frown at them!)
I have to confess to a slight sense of guilt here, for I have not read it. I'm sure every reader has one or two of these up their sleeves - books you think you should read but inexplicably haven't. Anyone with a love of reading has that list of stuff they should read, and "Catcher in the Rye" is on mine. Along with "Ulysses" and "I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings" and anything by Trollope (Anthony, not Joanna), and "Moby Dick"........ and so on and so on. There is a certain amount of snobbery about the so called canon - the books that anyone who claims a love of books should read. But should there be any should about reading - surely it's about enjoyment? If you don't like Jane Austen, well you don't. I don't like caviar, so I don't feel obliged to eat it just because it's expensive and highly thought of.
And yet, and yet....as a librarian I have to admit that I get a certain amount of pleasure when a child asks for "Treasure Island" or "Huck Finn" instead of the latest sub-Potter fantasy book. Or when a teenage girl who you expect to ask for Manga asks for Charlotte Bronte instead.
I'm also at the age when it seems an awfully long time since I read certain things, and some things are surely better a second time around, but how to find the time to re-read, when my to-read heap of books is tottering out of control?
It's about taste, time, inclination, a certain amount of trying stuff out, and the occasional rich indulgence (mine is Georgette Heyer). Bit like eating really. Books are food for the mind, after all.
What is your guilty secret or special pleasure?

Lizards in the library (with apologies to Lucy Daniels)

2010-01-15T13:25:00.002Z

"It's a crocodile! It's a crocodile!" shouted Mr Borrower from the reference department. Ann looked around, and saw that a child had left a toy animal on the floor. It looked like a crocodile, and was lying under the bookshelves.
"No, Mr Borrower, it's just a toy" said Ann kindly. Mr Borrower was always quite excitable. Ann went over and bent down to pick up the toy. And then it blinked.
Ann jumped and gave a little shriek. Mr Borrower said "It's a crocodile! It's a crocodile!"
Ann thought fast, and grabbed an empty box, and put it near the creature, which ran in gratefully.
Luckily for Ann, she knew someone who worked at the vets, so she took the box and showed them.
"That is a bearded dragon" said Mr Harris the vet. "It won't bite you, it's just a baby." It looked like a big baby to Ann, but she thought that maybe someone had it as a pet, and it had got out somehow, and come to the library to keep warm. When she told Dave the caretaker, he thought it was a joke.
Dave came in the following morning, and was putting up some shelves. All of a sudden he saw a movement out of the corner of his eye, and when he looked around, he saw a lizard on the floor. Mr Borrower wasn't there, but if he had been, he would have said "It's a crocodile! It's a crocodile!"
But Dave knew it wasn't a crocodile - he picked it up gently, and took it to the vet, to be reunited with its friend. They will stay with the vet until someone comes to find them, or the vet can find them a new home - a library is no place for a lizard.
But now, when anyone comes into the library, they always look down to see if there are any lizards on the floor.

The first in an occasional series of stories - do you have a library animal story? Squirrels in the Stack? Rabbits in the Reference Library? Lions in lending? Chameleons in the Community Room? Iguanas and Index Cards?
Please let me know.

Snow business like library business...

2010-01-11T14:32:00.002Z

So the carpet is a disgrace I agree - mud, snow, and grit do not mix well with 80's issue carpet tiles. And yet we are open, and have remained so throughout the bad weather, despite being regarded as "non-essential." Depends who you ask on that score. We do not, granted, supply food or fuel, yet the woman who staggered in on a snowy Wednesday afternoon and spent a grateful half hour in the (relative) warm of the library, choosing books for bed, was awfully pleased we were open. Several people seemed to not realise it was snowing at all, and were startled at the suggestion that we may close early because of a lack of public transport. My local high street bank, which shall remain nameless, but did receive a hefty wad of taxpayers money recently, were shut this morning because of the weather, and when I saw the staff stood outside, I was told that "they need a cup of tea before we open." Hmm. Public money, public responsibility.
So it hasn't been easy, and I'm sorry, Mrs Snodgrass, I don't know when the binmen will collect your recycling, but we are open as usual.

Reviewing the situation

2010-01-04T10:04:00.002Z

Managed to crawl into work through the ice and snow, and a fog of post-chemo tiredness, to make sure I still have a job and to check my emails, and it seems that as well as all the invites to xmas dinners and parties, and the news that the fax machine at such and such a library was out of order on the 18th of December, I have also had several emails about "the future of the library service." "My views" are wanted!
Scary stuff - apparently this is part of a national review of library services, to "empower, enrich, and inform." So, what are libraries for, and who are they for, and how do we make sure they do what they are supposed to do? Big stuff for a little old librarian to deal with. And yet I do believe we make a difference, and can continue to do so.
So, library folk everywhere - make your voices heard. Talk to your bosses. Email Margaret Hodge at libraryreview@culture.gsi.gov.uk , and speak to your borrowers/members/customers to see what they think. Leave a message on this blog and join the debate.
Shout now or don't complain when they bulldoze your library!

Christmas chemo

2010-01-02T11:46:00.000Z

Sorry folks - no post for a month and here's why. Chemotherapy. I am being steadily poisoned in the name of good health, and I've barely been able to lift my head off the pillow, let alone wave my fingers across a keyboard. Christmas and New Year in hospital, a lonely cracker and a drip for company...yeah ok, I'm laying it on a bit thick. I have had one or two visitors - even librarians have friends you know. But oh, those lonely hours on the ward. Still trying to find suitable reading matter - am two volumes into Proust. Seems appropriate reading for a hospital, as it was written by a famous hypochondriac obsessed with his bed, although the library copies I have got hold of came blinking into the light as if they had not been read for a very long time indeed! I have got some audio books but I keep falling asleep and struggling to find my place again - some readers have very soporific voices.
So - any recommendations for sickbed reading most welcome.
I would also love to hear from hospital librarians, and hospital information centres - big shout to the Robert Ogden Centre at St James's Leeds.
Please get in touch and I will post when I can.

Waiting for.....Godot?

2009-11-27T11:59:00.002Z

Waiting. We've all done it. Exam results. Dental receptions. Doctor's surgeries. The new Harry Potter. There are different sorts of waiting - excited, apprehensive, bored. Well, I'm doing the bloody terrified sort at the moment. Test results. Future treatment plans. Like I said - bloody terrified. The sort of waiting where you pick up a book to distract you and have to read each sentence about three times before it sinks in. The sort of waiting where you look at the clock every two hours only to realise that just five minutes have passed.
I've tried thrillers, page turners, bodice rippers, and I'm still waiting. And still the terror lurks. Please tell me the most gripping book there is (and preferably the longest most gripping book there is) and I will try it. I will try anything. (Well, maybe not quite anything. A librarian does have standards, you know.)
People seem to pass time in libraries, but that is not really an option for me - my fingers would start to itch, and I would have to tidy something.
So.

I'm waiting.

In sickness and in health...

2009-11-21T13:24:00.002Z

Apologies for the lack of post this last couple of weeks, but I have had shocking news, swiftly followed by surgery to remove said shocking news. I will draw a veil over the details, but suffice to say that books and libraries were not at the forefront of my mind, and may not be for a while. And yet, and yet....I did pack a book in my hospital overnight bag, because it did even then seem essential. And I did enter into an eager conversation with a fellow patient who was reading Grisham - "Bloody awful stuff but it gets you through the night" was the verdict. And I was amused to find a hospital library, even though I did not have cause to use it. I would be pleased and interested to hear from any hospital librarians out there - apart from anything else, what state are the books in - I know what your average public library book has stuck on its pages, so I dread to think what a hospital library book may be like. I am not too young to remember when librarians had to be notified of infectious diseases in their borrowers...
Anyway I will endeavour to keep posting as much as possible - any tips for get well reading, or the importance of books at times of crisis, most welcome.

Winter wonderland

2009-11-06T09:57:00.002Z

Have you noticed, good people, that as the nights draw in, as the days grow colder, the library changes subtly? If you are very lucky, the heating will come on, and work. If you are unlucky, it will come on occasionally, in certain rooms, so the men reading their papers are quietly toasted, while the knitting group upstairs have to huddle around a small electric heater for comfort. I have often thought that if we could harness all the energy produced in our mother and toddler group we could probably power the lights and the kettle all day. (Well maybe not the kettle - our tea and coffee consumption increases to gargantuan proportions during the winter).
It also looks different when those corners, normally illuminated by daylight, are suddenly plunged into four o'clock dark, and look increasingly attractive to the teenagers who hang around the park in the summer, but need somewhere warm for the winter. We also seem to have an increase in tramps, and rather oddly, crosswords that are neglected in the summer months find themselves mysteriously complete in the winter.
And the books - the weighty tomes that are too heavy for summer suitcases disappear off the shelves in the winter. What better time to try Ulysses for the sixth time than a gloomy Tuesday in November when there is nothing on the telly? Some people even like to find out what sort of spider has crept in to their bedroom in the dead of night.
So, libraries are not immune to the winter chill or the evening gloom, but you might just find a haven and a tonic to get you through the season. Or possibly a warm corner to hibernate in.

All that glitters.....

2009-10-30T11:24:00.002Z

We're still in October. The Jack O' Lanterns are yet to be lit, the Bonfires are yet to be burnt, we've just had a glorious Indian summer of a week and the half-term holiday is barely over. So, of course, the shops are full of Christmas tinsel and tat. Yes, it's that time of year again. Selection boxes, sleigh bells, glitter, chesnuts roasting on an open fire, miseltoe and wine, the boys of the NYPD choir, snow falling all around us, (just like the ones we used to know), everybody having simply wonderful fun. Oh, I wish it could be Christmas every day (don't worry, at this rate it soon will be).
And yet, there is a refuge. A haven. A shelter from the storm of all this madness. The library. No subliminal pressure to buy loads of cheap rubbish that you'll never use; no pushing and shoving and fights over a parking place; no mince pies (your local council has a healthy eating policy), no sickly smell of sherry (ditto drinking); no middle-aged staff painfully trying to get into the party spirit by wearing reindeer antlers or dressing as elves (well, not all the time) and no piped music playing Slade 653 times a day. Just a rather dog eared collection of Christmas books sat inconspicuously in a corner like they have every year for the past three decades (I've always felt that "Fanny Craddock's Christmas Cooking" is one for the ages). Bliss.
So if you're one of those people for whom Christmas has somehow lost true meaning, check out your library. You'll find peace on earth and goodwill to all in abundance.
Roll on Easter. . . .

That was the week that was

2009-10-27T11:23:00.003Z

Did you know that we have just had Customer Service Week? And soon it will Family Learning Week? We will also be celebrating Global Entrepreneurship Week. I seem to have missed Chocolate Week (12th October) although I am looking forward to Farmhouse Breakfast Week (24th Jan 2010) and National Curry Week (22nd November). I'm also already clearing a month in my diary for National Bed Month, next March, although whether my long suffering employers will allow me a duvet month remains to be seen. There are a few which do not appeal - National Be Nice To Nettles Week (I kid you not - see www.nettles.org.uk - 19th May 2010) and World Maths week, to name but two.
From doughnuts to cancer research, owls to head lice, doodling to kidneys, there is a day, a week, or a month for almost everything you could possibly think of, and quite a few you probably couldn't. And as a dutiful librarian I do a display, get some books, organise a workshop, put up posters, but I can't help thinking, when is our week? Perhaps you have one already - if so let me know!
Yes we have storytelling week, World Book Day, poetry day, but none of them quite sum up what a wondrous place your library is! Other countries have library weeks - we should have one too! Write to the MLA! Write to CILIP! Write to your MP! Let's have a Library Week!
And for all you people from veggies to bacon lovers, science nuts and weathermen, gardeners and coffee-morning-cookie-cutters, it's payback time - we put your posters up, time for you to return the favour!

Get your fix here!

2009-10-23T09:34:00.003+01:00

My name is Dorothea, and I'm addicted to....books. Not the most fashionable addiction, you will agree - I don't go to parties and swap books in the toilet (though I have been known to read books at a party). Kate Moss is seldom snapped leaving a nightclub with a book under her arm. And yet everyone has their vice, and books are mine. I'm not alone in this, either. Many of my regulars have the tell-tale glint in the eye and fevered brow when their favourite author has a new one on the horizon. Many a borrower has said to me "I can't get through the weekend without one." A future without reading matter is bleak indeed. This explains why many an addict has a stockpile, just in case.
I am not ashamed to say that I am a dealer too - my job means that I can store a choice one under the counter for my best customers "on the house" - a prime cut of the latest mind-bending fiction. Time-travel? A panacea for an aching soul? Uppers? Downers? Just to pass the timers? Get them all here!
Like all addictions, it is best started young for maximum impact. I wouldn't rule out the school gates. Even the cradle. You see, the more people who get addicted to books, the better. It's good for you. Even doctors are prescribing them now, and libraries are the dispensaries.
Next time you need a fix, see your librarian. We are fully qualified to diagnose and offer a tailored solution. Can't do your homework? This book might help. Long flight? Try this thriller. Nothing on the telly? This might pass the time.
Go to your library. Speak to an expert. It's a lot cheaper than hanging around on street corners.
And librarians, share your passion. There is plenty to go around.

Shhhh!

2009-10-19T11:20:00.002+01:00

Haven't posted for a few days - things have been a little frenzied. Last Thursday we appeared at the Ilkley Literature Festival with our performance piece "Shhhh!". At last, the culmination of months of blood, toil, tears and sweat. We arrived in Ilkley ridiculously early and paid a visit to the famous Betty's Tea Rooms for a bite to eat (a haven of tranquility - the calm before the storm). We rolled up to the playhouse at 7.00pm and gave out flyers to the people who were there for the main events. "We're on at 9," we said, "It's called 'Shhhh!' and it's about libraries!" Most people took a flyer but we got a few blank looks.
Then a long wait for the other events to finish. We nipped into the bar and ordered two pints of Dutch Courage, then thought better of it and had tea instead. Laura, our liaison lady, told us that the average audiences for Fringe events had been about 30, though a few nights before they'd only had 6. "We're pros," we said, "We'll give it our all whether we've got 6 or 60." In the end it was 60 (60+ actually). The audience was fantastic. We'd a few friends and supporters but the response was so positive from everyone.
Our time on stage seemed to pass in a blur - it seemed very strange to be performing in front of a real audience after months practicing in front of nobody. Somewhere at the back of the audience we heard quite a lot of "knowing" laughs at certain points. Librarians. I'd stake my life on it. After we'd finished, the techie from the playhouse told us it was the best Fringe event he'd seen this year. We were chuffed.
So that was it. All over. It seemed a shame, after all our work, to just perform the piece once. We'd quite like to take it out on the road, performing it at libraries. Our idea is to perform the show (it lasts about 45/50 mins) then break for refreshments and then run a "reminiscence workshop" where people share their memories and stories of libraries. Any libraries out there interested or want to know more details? Just drop us a line at - sbond@wakefield.gov.uk.

In the meantime, thanks to everyone and anyone for supporting us at Ilkley. The show is over but the blog goes on!

Festival! Carnival!

2009-10-13T15:33:00.003+01:00

Off to the heady world of the literature festival on Thursday - aside from the appearance of Shhhh! (if I'm not ready now then I never will be) - there is the glitz and the glamour of the festival! Real authors! In the flesh! Shiny new books which said author is desperately hoping you will buy so s/he can inscribe them with a fat Mont blanc pen bought ready for the occasion! The book shops with goods piled high saying "buy me" and "try me." Rubbing shoulders with the literati - you never know who you might see downing a crafty cream bun in Bettys.
Ah, I hear you say, a far cry from those tatty old paperbacks, half empty shelves and dog-eared magazines I leave behind in the library - no doubt I will be starstruck and not a little sorry to go back to work. Well, no actually. You see, it's all very well being beguiled into buying an £18.99 hardback, until you get home and realise that half the material was recycled from the authors' last book, and also the author has written "To Dorothea" in great big letters so you can't give it to Auntie Elsie for Christmas. It's all very well sitting at the back of a draughty hall not quite being able to hear about the character motivation for an experimental novel about samurai warriors and coming out no wiser than when you went in. Besides, some great writers go to libraries too. I bet many of the people doing the festival rounds started off in their local library. You should go along to yours and see what's happening - you might get a free cuppa. And you can return the books when you have finished with them. Not a writer alive could do without the library. Festival Shmestival! Libraries are where it's at!
Or am I just annoyed because I couldn't get a ticket for Alan Bennett?
Anyway more festival reports to come.
Who has been in your library recently?

"Shhhh!" at Ilkley Playhouse, Thurs 15th Oct, 9pm (the countdown)

2009-10-10T13:15:00.000+01:00

Just 5 days to go to the world premiere of "Shhhh!:Love, Life and the Truth About Libraries" at the Ilkley Literature Festival and the tension is mounting. The script is (more or less) finished, rehearsals are "progressing" (ahem), props have been assembled, lines learnt, bridges burnt, there's a whiff of greasepaint, a rustle of curtains and the glare of the footlights is calling, calling, calling as the days, hours, minutes tick away, the moment of truth approaches and we are lead towards an overwhelming question - is the world truly ready for THE TRUTH about libraries? What Pandora's Box might we open by revealing it? What forces will be unleashed, what foundations will tremble? Who knows but that on Friday morning we will awaken in a new place, our paradigms shifted, our zeitgeist zonked, our times a'changed our world turned upside down, all changed, changed utterly, a terrible beauty born.

Just hope we get a bloody audience.

Cafe au Library?

2009-10-06T14:05:00.002+01:00

It seems to be a great trend amongst the powers that be at the moment to suggest that every library worth its salt has a cafe attached. Indeed, some of the best libraries do have cafes, and this is no bad thing. I quite like the idea of arriving to the smell of coffee, and Carrot Passion cake during tea break is not to be sniffed at, although my cardigan size may increase alarmingly. Neither do I object to possible spillages and sticky fingers - people may as well dribble and crumble cakes over MY (mine, my precious...mine) books here as well as at home.
My main gripe is that people will simply say - "Failing library? Let's put a cafe in!" Then all you have is a failing library with a cafe attached. The library should be the main attraction - if you can stay and enjoy a cup of skinny macchiato with chocolate whip and marshmallows then so much the better, but this should not be the reason people visit. Lure them in with the smell of coffee by all means, but keep them there with great library services, the books they want, and the environment to enjoy them in.
The other problem is what people expect from a coffee shop - we held a charity coffee morning a couple of weeks ago, and believe me, you may get over 500 coffee combos at Starbucks, but that's nothing compared to Mrs Ramsbottom and her "squeeze the teabag three times, stir it clockwise, put in three and a third teaspoons of sugar, then just a smidge of milk (semi-skimmed) (smidge being an ancient Yorkshire measurement) blue cup and matching unchipped saucer, and a rich tea biscuit, but not one from the end of the packet because they are always broken. Thank you kindly." I defy even the most experienced barista and tea pourer to satisfy her!
Now, where is my muffin tin?

Fin-tastic!

2009-10-02T14:22:00.001+01:00

Thank you to everyone who has contacted me so far with weird and wonderful library stories. A strange theme is emerging, however. There seem to be an inordinate number of incidents involving fish. Yes, fish.

A perturbed library assistant recalls, among the many odd items left as bookmarks, a kipper. (And if you have any other odd bookmarks please let me know). A still traumatised library worker remembers being handed a carrier bag containing one book to be returned, plus a piece of cod. A smelly, unwrapped, piece of cod. The owner of which denied all knowledge and left it in the library. It is not known whether said library worker took it home for tea. Another librarian describes the elderly couple who come in every week and, lacking hearing aids, shout for the whole library to hear, "COD OR HADDOCK TONIGHT DEAR?" Elsewhere, fishnet stockings have also been found in a library book. Not sure why. Although they seemed to be unworn.

So keep the stories coming, fish related or otherwise, and be careful out there, for cod moves in mysterious ways, and libraries are truly strange plaices to be.

Borrow a book "wherever you are"

2009-09-28T16:20:00.000+01:00

So, how long was it before someone came into your local library this morning, produced a library card from a different local authority and attempted to borrow books on it because "they said on the telly you could do it"? My first one happened at 10.21. Patiently, I explained that all I could do was accept their library card as ID and issue them with one of our own library cards. No problem, of course, but my borrower did seem a tad disappointed that we didn't have an all singing, all dancing "One card fits all" system. The idea of making libraries accessible to all is fine, upstanding and laudable but I do wish the Society of Chief Librarians would take a bit more care when putting out press releases and not create the impression that we are offering one kind of service when it's really another. Perhaps the spin doctors just got carried away. We're all politicians now ...

D-Day!

2009-09-26T13:23:00.004+01:00

It was the day that was supposed to change the world of publishing, the world of books forever! D-Day! Dan day, that is. Dan Brown. And so, a couple of weeks on, how was it for you, dear reader? Did you have borrowers breaking down your doors to download "The Lost Symbol"? Were they rushing in to plug in their new Sony Readers, while your book stock sat wilting on the shelves? No, me neither. We have (at last count) sixty reservations. And rather fewer copies. So people will either have to wait patiently or go and buy it along with their groceries at Waitasmorritescobury's.
We have yet to get rid of all our cassette audiobooks - a new MP3 collection has been treated with suspicion in some quarters, enthusiasm in others. So what, fellow librarians, are we for? Do we slavishly follow the New Book World, as per the Bookseller and the literary chit-chat columns, or do we do what we do best - look over our spectacles (metaphorical or otherwise) and do a bit of cross-referencing before we decide that it is all over for the book. I won't light my bonfire just yet!

Acronym?

2009-09-21T15:29:00.005+01:00

As you know, modern life is full of strange abbreviations, and it takes us all a while to get used to them. I'm still trying to work out what that young man from the photocopying company means when he puts LOL after his messages about our broken down machine. And I still have to bite back the urge to slap people when they they say PIN number - "IT STANDS FOR..." Ooh deep breath anyway.

A lady came in today with her elderly MIL (Mother-in-Law) and asked if we did videos anymore. Rather proud for once I said that we did not and now that the world has moved to MP4 and HD, libraries were still using those silver shiny things that will also no doubt soon be obsolete, but we had at least got rid of videos. Except fishing ones. Fishermen still have videos. I find this rather comforting. Anyway a few minutes later said MIL came to counter.

"My VD's not working yet love", she said "but it should be up and running soon, so I've come out to get something for it." Call me old-fashioned, and many people have, but the first thing that leaps to mind when someone says VD, is, well, VD. Was there perhaps a new virus going about that was set to a timer, and this poor lady was desperately seeking a cure before it started to work? And why come to the library? The nearest I could get to a cure for syphilis was a mercury thermometer.

"Will this work?" she said, and put a DVD case on the counter. "Er, yes" I said, with relief.

Proud and Prejudiced.....

2009-09-15T13:21:00.006+01:00

Ah, Jane. The divine Jane, dear aunt Jane. Ms Austen. It is a truth universally acknowledged that no other writer has inspired such idolatrous enthusiasm. Her appeal knows no bounds, cuts across all demographics, takes all sorts. Woe betides the hardy soul who dares to tangle with the Janeites - those redoubtable Trekkies of English Literature (perhaps somewhere there is a picturesque corner of a field where they gather to be inculcated into the cult en masse. Hampshire, probably). But where should the self respecting librarian shelve the books? Following months (weeks, days, minutes) of earnest discussion Dorothea suggests the following possibilities:

1) CLASSICS - Jane is class, her novels are classics. They must be becuase the characters all wear bonnets. And wet shirts. Well, they do on the BBC.

2) CHICK LIT - Jane rebranded. Edgy Jane, "contemporary" Jane, post-modern Jane. Chuck her in amongst the pink and glitter - the 30something -singleton Sex and the City renegades will gobble her up.

3) ROMANTIC FICTION - Stick 'em next to the Mills and Boon. It's basically the same thing. Not universally acknowledged but true all the same.

4) THE MARK TWAIN SOLUTION - "Any library is a good library that does not contain a volume by Jane Austen. Even if it contains no other book."

The choice is yours . . . . .

2009-09-07T16:51:00.003+01:00

Dorothea has been in touch with Simon for the latest on the Ilkley Literature Festival and his forthcoming performance of "Shhh!" an epic drama in one act which is inspired by life in our public libraries.

Simon: "Last week we had to go to a planning meeting at Ilkley. We got to see the stage and space we will be using and to meet other performers at the Fringe festival. As I looked at the darkened theatre I seemed to hear a voice saying "This is real, this is happening, you'll be on that stage in 5 weeks!" Gulp.

We've been trying to start a bit of a publicity drive and visited Ilkley library, asking if we could leave a poster. "It's about libraries," I said. "About what it's really like to work in them." The staff were very friendly and welcoming. A lady smiled and said, "At last!" and a chap behind the counter said, "Will it have all the sex, drugs and rock and roll?" I answered in the affirmative. A lovely library and lovely staff - hope some of them can make it to the show.

On Sunday we popped into Leeds Central Library and asked if we could leave a poster. "It's about libraries - we're exposing the truth!" I said with a wry smile. The librarian frowned and shook her head with a weary sigh. "Oh no you're not," she said, and the years of experience on the front line seemed etched across her face. "Oh yes we are," we said, "We work in libraries too."
"Do you really? Do you really have to put up with the same things as us? Really?" she said. And a light seemed to go on in her eyes - a bright, shining light that said SOMEONE ELSE KNOWS. SOMEONE ELSE UNDERSTANDS.

So librarians of the world (or at least of West Yorkshire)- come and see "Shhh!" at Ilkley on October 15th. Becuase someone else knows. Someone else feels your pain.

It's for yoo-hoo!

2009-09-04T16:26:00.003+01:00

What do you do with mobile phone users once they enter the hallowed portals? I have noticed four general tactics when I have visited libraries:
1) the patented Dorothea stare - this usually works, but takes years of practice to hone. I can nail a mosquito at 30 yards.
2) uncomfortable shuffling and surreptious looks followed by member of staff sidling over and asking in an embarrassed sort of way if they would mind, you know, er, turning it off, it is, you know, a library, right?
3) the stroppiest member of staff being sent over to tell them in no uncertain terms to switch it off before it gets flushed down the toilet.
4) studiously ignoring them in the hope that they will see sense and retreat - this never works.

Or do you have a tolerance zone, a chill out area, where people can bleep and chirrup and tweet in freedom? I bet you can guess what Dorothea thinks of that.

2009-09-01T16:16:00.003+01:00

Dorothea has been having a chat with Simon, our intrepid librarian who is busily preparing for his appearance at the Ilkley Literature Festival and the world premiere of "Shhhh!" his one man show inspired by the world of libraries. So Simon, how is it going?

Simon: "Well, the rough draft of the script is finished and intensive rehearsals start in earnest this week. The Ilkley programme is officially out and Melvyn Bragg is in town on the same night as me! I'd invite him along to the show if I could figure out a way to contact him - anyone out there know him? I'm sure he's a chap with a passion for libraries. Melvyn, if you're out there, please come along!"

As for Simon's hopes and fears for "Shhhh!" the stage show:

Simon: "It was famously said that Beckett's 'Waiting for Godot' is a play in which nothing happens twice. I want "Shhhh!" to take theatre beyond Beckett; I want to break down barriers, shift paradigms, alter the demographic and generally kick ass. Yes, "Shhhh!" is a play in which nothing happens six times.
Just like a typical day at the library really. But remember - there's no place quite like a library when nothing happens ......"

You want what?

2009-08-28T14:48:00.005+01:00

I've had to answer some very strange questions over my library career - here are a few examples:

Where can I get a divorce?
Will you publish my memoirs?
What will these seeds grow into?
What colour paint goes with these cushion covers?
Do you sell condoms?
Would you open the automatic doors for me - I'm an eco warrior and I don't want to be responsible for using the energy?

And because I'm a good and dutiful librarian I try to answer them all!
Here are the answers, in no particular order - marijuana, a lawyer, no, yes, no, magnolia.

Have you ever been asked anything odd?

What do you call them?

2009-08-21T14:35:00.002+01:00

Please help Dorothea!
You know when that certain sort of person comes in, usually a woman, usually with kids in tow, and asks for biographies. Well, you know what she means, but if you are anything like Dorothea you take them to where the lives of Leonardo da Vinci, Stanley Matthews, Winston Churchill, Mohammed Ali are shelved. About five minutes later they come back. "No it's biographies we want. There is one about someone called Dave, I think." And so you take them to the shelves where the books are mainly white, with a distressed looking child on the front clutching a teddy bear, and with titles like "Please No Mummy Don't Sell Me To The White Slavers, At Least Not Until Daddy Has Beaten Me Again." And they are delighted. I am waiting for the first memoir called "Mummy Took Me To The Library And Left Me There While She Read Books About Neglected Children."
Anyway what Dorothea wants to know is, what do you call them? I've scoured libraries and bookshops and so far we have:

Misery Literature
Real Lives
Alternative Childhoods
Painful Lives

Please send your suggestions.

What counts?

2009-08-19T10:03:00.002+01:00

Dorothea is stressed this week, for it is the week we have to count who comes in and out of our dear little library. We do this every week electronically, but just occasionally we have to actually sit down and do it properly (except during tea breaks, obviously - everything stops for tea and biscuits). Unless it is too busy to count - then of course we have an interesting paradox, for if we are are too busy to count then we count no-one, so we are not busy at all. And so, from morning until evening, someone sits and clicks a clicker, for a child, or for an adult. This raises some interesting existential problems - if 16 is an adult, how old is that girl with the high heels and the lippy? Do workmen count? Delivery people? Do I count a member of staff who has been out for lunch? Joanne's mum who has come to see her daughter who works in the office? Who, actually, is a person? Does the double buggy contain children or shopping - and how close can I get without seeming rude? The nice but forgetful old lady who comes in five times within half an hour - is that one visit or five?
Also, does it matter what they do here? Does someone spending six hours here count for more than someone who spends five minutes?
Statistics, make of them what you will - all I know is, I need a cup of tea. And a biscuit. With chocolate on.

Towards the Fringe

2009-08-14T17:13:00.000+01:00

Dorothea has been reading the latest edition of the CILIP Gazette where you can find an article about Simon, our intrepid librarian, and his 60 minutes of fame on the 4th Plinth. Now, however, he has other fish to fry, namely his forthcoming one man show at the Ilkley Literature Festival. It's called "Shhh" and its all about libraries. Dorothea caught up with Simon and asked him how the preparations are going:

"Very well, thank you. Performance date is October 15th at 9pm which is a very, very long way off. Isn't it? Please? Really?"

Dorothea thinks that Simon is just a tad nervous but you know what they say, 'It'll be alright on the night'.Still, Simon tells me he'll be attending a meeting for all the "Fringers" on 3rd September and will keep us posted on any developments. Meanwhile the first draft of his script is finished but he still needs your funny library stories. So let's hear them oh citizens of Libraryland!

For now, Dorothea will give you a starter for 10. This very week Dorothea took a phone call from someone asking the library to re-house their pets!! Anyone out there had any other suitably bizarre requests in the library? We're waiting for your call....

The day job

2009-08-14T09:40:00.002+01:00

Follow the link http://www.oneandother.co.uk/participants/Simon to see what a librarian can do in an average day - reading to any audience, big or small - sharing a book with a hundred people, or just five. Anyone can do it - you don't have to be on a plinth!

Miss-communication

2009-08-11T10:53:00.002+01:00

I've been gathering stories all week to give to our librarian, and here is small one I thought I would share with you. Man walks into library, and asks at the enquiry desk for books about beetles. Library assistant points him to the music books. A few minutes later he comes back - "no, books about beetles, not beatles." Library assistant gently explains that the Beatles are a pop group, and heads back to the music section. "No" says the man. "Beetles." And out comes a matchbox. And it does not contain Paul McCartney.

Do you have a story to share?

From the plinth to the fringe

2009-08-05T13:30:00.006+01:00

Welcome one and all to this new libraries and books blog. I am Dorothea, and I'm (almost) all woman, but most particularly, all librarian. Whatever that means. I hope over the coming weeks and months to share many stories with you - stories of libraries, of books, borrowers, and lenders (of which I am both, with apologies to Polonius). And I hope you will share your stories with me.

My first story begins on the 9th of July, when a librarian took to the plinth in Trafalgar Square, and told a few tales, read a few poems, and stood up for books, for reading, and for libraries. The librarian loved being on the plinth, and had a great response from people far and wide who said how wonderful it was that people were talking about libraries, and reading, about how they loved libraries and books, and how it was about time someone stood up for them.

This made the librarian think that perhaps more people in more places had stories to tell, and things to say about libraries, and experiences to share, and were perhaps simply lacking the means or the mouthpiece to do it. After all, not everyone is willing or able to stand in the middle of London and shout about reading, and books, and libraries. I, for instance, am very shy, and much prefer to stay behind my library counter. But I and my colleagues told the librarian some stories, over a cup of tea, and the librarian thought that perhaps other people might like to hear our stories too, and so, with some trepidation, our heroic librarian decided to perform at the Ilkley Literature Festival fringe, and to be the mouthpiece for book and library lovers throughout the world, and tell some stories of these fantastic institutions and the people who frequent them.

And then, our hero, our brave, adventurous librarian, began to panic! "What if I don't have enough to say?" "What if no-one wants to hear about books and libraries anymore in this digital age?" and also, "What will I say if I bump into Alan Bennett in the wings?"

Dorothea to the rescue! For from my library counter, or my comfortable laptop at home, I can contact librarians, and book lovers throughout the world! They might have stories and experiences they are willing to share, or would like other people to hear. They may encourage and hearten you with their own passion for libraries and books.

So, book-lovers, library-lovers, librarians, page-turners, spine-breakers, book-stampers, indexers, card-fillers, dewey-dames, and dewey-dudes, please share your stories and experiences of libraries with Dorothea. She, like all the best librarians, can be trusted not to tell (or at least to change the names if she does). She will pass on the best to our brave librarian, who may in turn use them in the show at Ilkley. All anecdotes, however small, are welcome. All Joycean narratives of life in libraries will be read with pleasure. Libraries are changing - tell your tales now, or they may be lost forever. And our brave librarian will be able to go to Ilkley in October knowing that other people care, and want their stories to be heard.

This blog will be an archive of your stories, as well as a talking shop and a sounding board. It will also tell the story of our librarian hero and his journey from the plinth to the fringe.